Dear Lord was Tiny Tower ever a steaming pile of - no, that’s not quite right: it wasn’t bad so much as staggeringly, cripplingly boring. I never figured out how so many people could be won over by it - I mean, I know millions of gamers love ostensibly pointless busywork but the thing is Tiny Tower wasn’t even very good at that. No fine detail, nothing going on, no charm or any kind of spark to the visuals, just long lines of stupid little potato-headed people wandering back and forth past static backdrops that all look exactly the damn same while they gawp like goldfish. Horrible, horrible game. Nimblebit whined about being cloned, but the thing was the clones were usually much, much better - even a soulless, money-grubbing studio like Glu Mobile turned out Li’l Kingdom, and that was a wild improvement over Tiny Tower in every respect. I wouldn’t want to play Tiny Death Star if I was being paid to do it.
Ahem. On a slightly more positive note, I tried out the iOS version of Final Fantasy Theatrhythm, and… huh. Weird game, this. Horribly crippled and monetised over the regular handheld edition for no good reason, and yet the core engine is still a hell of a lot of fun, enough for even me to pick up a bunch of DLC tunes (though given I can’t stand most of Uematsu’s work on the series, there’s no way I’d be spending that much on it anyway). It feels like an empty, forcibly gutted game, and yet nailing a battle theme on Expert difficulty is still absolutely thrilling, even if you know you’re making very little real progression - you’re not “going” anywhere in game. Strange; I don’t think I’ve liked and at the same time disliked a game as much as this in a while.