Welp, I bit the bullet, installed, aaaaaaaaand – black screen after intro cinematic. A little googling tells me that I’m not the only person to have this problem, but none of the suggested fixes are working for me yet. I’m verifying the files now; if that doesn’t work I think it’s refund time.
edit: refund requested. I’m sure it’s a fine game, but it’s not 1993 anymore. I don’t have the patience to muck around for hours just trying to get a game to run.