So… If that’s your kickstarter it needs work. Here’s some things I noticed:
First of all, you might want to eventually link to your webpage, and your webpage might want to have this game front and center instead of armored evolution.
Second, you need to do a better job explaining what sets your game apart; why you feel compelled to make your game. You put some small gameplay details in the explainers below, there should be text in the video pointing out.
Third, A particular weakness here is a lack of focus on features that many rpg players go in for. Do you have a narrative, and is it a good one? Do you have a lot of exploration? If it’s just combat, is it a roguelike? Does it have a wide depth of character creation?
Fourth, what’s the point of the Lightbringer and Punisher section? You have far more impressive things in your actual video. It actually makes me less impressed because you’re not explaining why it’s important; it looks like two fairly mundane pieces of equipment. After games like Disco and DOS2, equipment needs to be really special to stand out.
Fifth, building a town is not a small feature, but I don’t see much of it in your actual pitch.
Sixth (and this should be higher), you never introduce yourselves as a team. You never humanize yourselves, which makes it look like a scam (that’s not an accusation, just an acknowledgment of optics).
Seventh, you only show the classic classes and not one of the custom ones. Show the depth and breadth of your character creator if you think it is impressive.
Eighth, talk about the setting. Characterize the setting. Many, many, many RPGs live and die based off their setting. Wizardry was very personal to the game creator. Geneforge is unique biomagic. Planescape is a weird fantasy galaxy’s trash pit. Disco is a trip. Even if you have a fairly generic setting, explain what you like about it, what’s going on in world.
Ninth, take a more serious look at the challenges. If the challenge is you running out of money, say so. Say what stage of development you’re in, and what challenges you face. Point to your past work if you’re proud of it, delete it from your webpage if you’re not.
Tenth, where the money will help you go. I don’t recommend stretchgoals because your price is too low to make an rpg anyways, but point to how you want to expand and improve the game. What you would do if the harsh realities of development were not dragging you down.
I would recommend you look at a one man band RPG made on a budget: Queen’s Wish: The Conqueror. Jeff Vogel doesn’t use as many images and uses more text, but the images have a purpose, like showing off the character creator.
I hope you see this as critique rather than criticism (or you know, see it at all.)