In case you need to make sanity saving decision now:
Beating Dark Souls games is like winning at Go Fish against your grandparents late on a Saturday night after too many cookies and not enough sleep.
At first, it’s just a game. But over and over again you ask for the same card, forgetting they already told you no, I don’t have it. And you lose.
This keeps happening until a miraculous revelation rears its head: the cookie jar is on the counter. BEHIND grandma.
So you go get a cookie. Peak at Grandma’s hand. Ask for the RIGHT card. And win.
And it feels about as much like winning as defeating a dark souls boss whose moveset you’ve memorized after 17 deaths at the hands of 10’x10x weapon in a 6x6 room whose collision mesh only works when it hits YOU while your sword keeps bouncing off support columns placed for reasons that have nothing to do with architecture and everything to do with taking the piss out of you, your numb fingers, the three controllers you’ve already smashed and the no doze and antidepressants you started taking round about Anor Londo when a fat ass in a gold suit wouldn’t stop sitting on you while his buddy poked you with an electric Lance because fuck me if half the bosses and weapons in this game aren’t walking, talking, blood spilling, frustration inducing sexual innuendo. I mean seriously, have you SEEN those fucking arrows?
If spending your entire evening in cramped spaces with unpleasant individuals who like to cheat you out of your fun for a lark while mocking your inability to counter their antics just because you don’t have them all memorized yet sounds fun, why not save yourself a still functioning controller trip through your monitor and just visit your in-laws?
Dark Souls is the only series of games I have ever seen that PUNISHES you for improvement. It starts off hard but manageable, gets tougher the longer you stick with it and finally, round about the 2/3 mark realizes that if it plays fair you’re going to win and starts resorting to cheap bullshit in order to slow you down. About the time you get GOOD at melee, some boss will start spamming AOE or create a token copy of himself like a cheap legendary in that CCG you can’t afford to pay to win, because fuck a fair fight. Want to keep your distance and play it cautiously? That same boss will just start dashing across the room with acceleration akin to a formula 1 car on a back straight and a grill like a locomotive and THEN start spamming AOE because fuck your tactical, cautious mindset, you’re not supposed to do this well in the hardest game ever.
Fuck all this. If I wanted this much punishment for trying to work something out tactically from a distance on a weekend using my brain I’d just go pick a fight with my girlfriend while she cooked dinner. At least that way I’d still have one working controller in the morning.